Cruise Control: Day 3

A cruise ship is a luxury hotel on water, it's that simple. The opulence in the central gathering area--with a variety of names like The Atrium of The Piazza depending on the cruise line--is hard to believe when you contrast it with the price of the ticket. Soaring skylights, mosaic floors, floating staircases, and exquisite lighting everywhere can trick the traveler into believing they paid a lot of money to be there amid it all. The payoff for the cruise lines, of course, is that everyone wants to do it again, and as quickly as possible. (Just to make sure, though, you can reserve a future cruise for a mere $100 refundable deposit before you step a foot off the one you haven't finished yet. These people aren't stupid.)

The Piazza

The Piazza

The Piazza

Once you leave these areas, though, and head to your stateroom (which is a generous term for the kind of cabin most of us working folks can afford), be prepared to downsize quickly--including your basic turning-around radius. They have done the best they can, I must admit. Well-placed mirrors expanded the approximately 800 square feet of "living space" we were allotted in a regular sized cabin for two. The bathroom/changing area might add an additional 20 square feet, but I "paced off"

It WAS a king-size bed!

Desk, refrig, TV area

Main part of the cabin

Dressing area

Shower

Sink in bathroom

(without moving any part of my  body other than my toe) about 2.5 feet by 3.5 feet in the toilet/sink area, and another 3.5 feet by 4.5 feet in the shower. Suffice it to say, plan on exiting the shower stall completely if you drop the soap. There is no bending over room for retrieval.

But when you consider that you spend very little time in your cabin, the small size is not too great a burden to carry in exchange for being in this beautiful space to begin with. Coupled with the service and the great entertainment that is offered practically around the clock, you simply fall into bed at night, and rush out in the morning to eat, drink, and be merry.

Of course, you can pay more for a bigger space, right on up to a family suite with a balcony. (I imagine if you reserve that one you might need that balcony to toss off annoying family members after a few days at sea. At least, that's the nasty rumor I heard.) So far, however, I have been in an outside cabin (which means you have a window looking out at the ocean) with single beds when I traveled with two family members, an outside cabin with one huge bed taking up the majority of the square footage, and most recently, an inside cabin with no window at all.

And I learned a valuable lesson in this inside cabin. Well, actually two lessons: One, it won't ever happen again. The "no window" aspect, I mean. I WILL cruise again, I can assure you of that. And two, I won't get stuck without a window again because I was disoriented all the time without it. When I woke up in the morning, I never really knew if it WAS morning. It could have been midnight for all I knew, I had no way of knowing. In an ocean view room I could look outside and tell. Without it, I was simply at a loss about what time it might be. So, in the future, we will pay a bit more (less than $100 usually) for a room with a view, as water logged as that view might been.

Have I mentioned how large these ships are? Stay tuned.....

Luxury must be comfortable, otherwise it is not luxury.

Coco Chanel

Cruise Control: Day 2

Food, glorious food!

Pastries in the Atrium

Coffee Bar

Traditional British Meal

Buffet

Welcome to the buffet

Waiting in line for pizza!

I can just see the orphans in the Dickens novel dancing among the scarred wooden tables, rejoicing in the fact that they finally had food.

Kind of like cruise folks dance into the buffet line three (or more) times a day, reveling in the vast array of entrees, desserts, salads (notice desserts came before salads here), rolls of all kinds, fruit, soups, veggies...the list goes on. I had heard travelers talk about the food on cruise ships, but until you see it yourself, it's a bit hard to process.

It's unlimited, for one thing. And the choices often stretch for dozens of feet in either direction. 

The price of your ticket includes food. Where else can you take a vacation for seven days for under $500, including enough food to, well, sink a ship? Maybe tent camping in the mountains, but I learned to enjoy sleeping in a soft bed and not having critters sneak into my bedding at night a long time ago. Your cabin, excellent service (see Cruise Control, Day 1 for that story), PLUS all the food you can stomach for that ridiculous price? Not too many other opportunities out there. I know, because I have tried to find them.

There are several options for dining, too. When you book a cruise, you choose an evening dining time, either early (around 5:30 or 6 PM) or late (around 8:30), and at the appointed time you head to the dining room assigned to you. Keep in mind, most of these ships carry between 1000 and 4000 people, so they provide multiple dining rooms. When you show up there, you are shown to your table, complete with white tablecloths, beautiful place settings, crystal glasses, and real flowers in the vases. (I don't know how they do that one on longer cruises...where do they keep flowers to keep them fresh that long?) 

The server snaps open the napkin for each lady and places it in her lap, welcoming everyone and taking drink orders. Another chance to be dazzled by the service. As a woman who cooks at home, I'll take this kind of treatment any day, believe me. (I've asked several of these waiters if they would come home with me, but no takers yet.)

If you decide you want two entrees, just ask. No extra charge. One of each on the menu that night? That's fine by them. Don't like the one you thought would be tasty? They'll whisk it away and bring something else in a flash. Dessert choices always includes a sugar-free option, and on this trip I saw more gluten-free and vegetarian options, too. Your wish is their command.

But if all of that is a bit too formal for you, head on over to one of the many buffet lines in other areas of the ship, and chow down. They're open probably 18 hours a day. The coffee bar in the atrium is open 24/7....I just discovered that on this trip.(Additional charges do apply for specialty coffees, but we're all used to that anyway, aren't we?) Everywhere you turn, there it is: food, glorious food!

Your travel companion can roll you back to your cabin later.

“One cannot think well, love well, sleep well, if one has not dined well.”
― Virginia Woolf, A Room of One's Own

Cruise Control: Day 1

It wasn’t easy getting on the ship this time. But it is best that I experience cruising from more than one perspective, I imagine, especially if I plan on taking all of you along with me.

You know all that talk about budget cuts in Washington these days? Most of us yawn and turn down the volume since all the politicizing is posturing anyway, designed to get the other side of the aisle in Congress to buckle under the weight of all their obstructionism. But in this case, I came face to face with the results of the cut-backs. Or I should say, there weren't many faces to face at all at the US Customs desks as over 3000 travelers tried to get off the ship I was waiting to board. (We experienced the same lack of assistance at the other end of our trip, but more on that later.)

My previous embarkations were as smooth as the Caribbean’s aquamarine surface that would soon surround this huge floating party boat. No waiting, no glitches, nothing standing in the way of all the fun to come. The port personnel in this case did the best they could to process the incoming 3000 in a little over three hours, but the line I had to stand in stretched off into the distance—I literally could not see the end of it—and then it folded back over itself and wended its way back to where I started. But in the meantime, I chatted with the people standing around me and made some new friends. The time passed quickly. (I never saw any of those people again once we boarded, which is a testimony to how large these vessels actually are.)

Once inside the terminal, things happened fast, too, and soon there it was—the gangway leading up to the ship and a host of welcoming crew members. It is astounding to me that these folks can get that many people off the ship, clean and reset everything, and then take on another 3000+ to sail out of port so quickly. They dock at around 7 AM and the ship then heads back out to do it all over again at 4 PM. Amazing. Plus they all keep smiling.

I think this is what is so enticing about spending time on board a cruise ship: the level of service is extraordinary. You need extra towels in your cabin? No need to ask—your cabin steward (who I am convinced must hide in the wall directly outside my door to watch our comings and goings) will notice how many you use and will add extras until you finally reach the perfect number for you. Want all your meals served in your cabin? Just pick up the phone and ask—you’ll never have to leave the comfort of your (admittedly very small) cabin. You don’t feel like walking from your table in the dining room to get another glass of water? Just look up—you can be sure that a server is watching for your signal. He will hustle off to get what you need.

They smile, they agree, they are present without being pressing.

It’s important that the neophytes at cruising among you understand that, although these service professionals are superb at their jobs, there is a price attached to it. At the end of your journey, you will settle up your tab with the purser, part of which includes about $12 a day in tips for the staff. But I’ve always believed that we get what we pay for—and I am more than willing to pay these people to pamper me a few times a year. The ridiculously low price of the cruise includes food, cabin, ports of call, and a beautiful vacation, too. These tips still don’t push the cost of the entire trip off the fiscal cliff.

           

It’s a steal and heaven knows we don’t generally experience this level of service at home.

Tomorrow we’ll talk about food. Just make sure you’re hungry.

Year by year we are learning that in this restless, strenuous American life 

of ours vacations are essential.

Ellsworth Huntington

Pre-cruise control......

Tomorrow at this time, the floating party will be underway on board the cruise ship as it pushes away from the dock, and I will be sitting on a deck chair, glass of champagne in hand, as I watch the fun.

I was introduced to this brand of vacationing about three years ago, when I went on my first cruise shortly after my father passed away. Since then I met a man who is a veteran of over forty voyages (not counting his Navy cruises, which I have a feeling were quite different than what I experience on these huge cities on water), and we have visited the Caribbean and Bermuda together so far. Last year we took my daughter and a friend of their first cruise, and THEY are hooked now, too. (For an account of one of those earlier journeys, you can catch up at

http://agedtoperfectiondeborahhansen.blogspot.com/2012/06/how-can-i-help.html)


At first I wondered, too, what the big deal is about going on a cruise. But, we have to keep in mind that my life has not been one filled with money or extra time, so I didn't take many vacations anyway....anywhere. Now I get it, though.

It's about freedom. And being disconnected from the grind of whatever wears you down each day. We all spend a lot of time eking out a living and things have been even tougher in the past few years, hasn't it? So, to step into a world where other people wait on ME, where no money changes hands, where I can act ridiculous if I want to and no one back at home is the wiser.........well, it is intoxicating. I hear Vegas is much like this, but I don't gamble and I love the ocean, so a glitzy city of chance in the desert doesn't entice me much.

So, I'll be basking in the sun by tomorrow, listening to party music and watching people dance--and doing some dancing myself--eating great food, and leaving everything else behind for seven days. The deadlines, the traffic, the everyday toil, it is gone while on board ship.

I will take you along with me, though, through my journal, and I'll begin sharing that with you upon my return to normality in a week. 

So, the anticipation is nearly over. Let the fun begin!

Vacation used to be a luxury, but in today's world it has become a necessity.  

~Author Unknown

Anti-ci-pation......

Anti-ci-pation......

Anti-ci-pation......

You remember that song, right? I think it was Carly Simon who was lamenting that anticipation was makin' her late and keeping her waitin', but that refrain is dominating my mind right about  now.
Oh, you want to know why (or what) I'm anticipating? Let me share.....

A week from today, almost to the minute as I write this, I'll be boarding a ship for a 7 day cruise to the southern Caribbean. Heaven.....

Worth a little anticipating, as far as I'm concerned.

Some folks, upon learning of my upcoming trip, look at me aghast, wondering why I would agree to get on a CRUISE ship! Don't they run aground a lot, or lose power due to on board fires, or forget how to back up? How about diseases that run rampant throughout the ship way out there in the middle of the ocean, with no easy escape?

Well, yes...all of that could happen, I imagine. But I know an intersection near my house that makes Daytona Speedway look like a senior citizens' exhibition, and I still travel it every day. And even though planes fall out of the sky once in a while, I get on one occasionally if I want to get where I need to be.

In other words, I play percentages. The chances of disaster befalling ME on the cruise I chose are miniscule, taking into considering the number of voyages these ships make with no incidents at all. Could it happen? Sure, but I'm betting on the side of most likely not.

And I've learned, since I've reached the point in my  life where I can take some trips like this, that the anticipation of the journey is almost as fun as the actual voyage. We booked about three weeks ago, and ever since we've noted the number of days on the calendar in a variety of ways: 

"Do you realize that two weeks from RIGHT NOW we'll be boarding the ship??!"  

"Seven nights from tonight we'll be dancing in the night club on the cruise!!"

"It's only five days until we'll be arriving in [name of port] to take the sightseeing tour!"

 Anti-ci-pation......

And the other thing I learned from my previous cruises is that the actual event lives up to all this pre-excitement, something that is not always the case. No phones, no computer, no demands at all: just people waiting on me hand and foot, lots of quiet time to read, write, snooze, whatever I choose to do. As I have aged, I have become a world-class cloud-watcher, with the ability to sit and do absolutely nothing for long periods of time, with no guilt about it at all. For someone like me, a former Type A personality, that is huge. And wonderful. 

And a cruise plays to that new ability. 


A writer has to write, though, so I'll keep a journal and share some of my experiences on the cruise when I return, especially for those of you who think I'm a little crazy for getting on that ship to begin with.


Anti-ci-pation......

“Oh the places you'll go! There is fun to be done!"

Dr. Suess

Something else happened for sure......

Who would have thought?

Getting older--aging to perfection, in other words--is tough, there's no doubt. Especially in a society that idolizes those who are NOT older, wiser, more experienced. We are discounted every day by those who think it will never happen to them.

Just like we did.

So, when an event like this happens, it shouts to be shared. You deserve to know that some part of one's body can actually get better as it ages.

I got my first pair of glasses when I was ten. And I endured all the mean comments from my classmates: four-eyes and brain jump immediately from my memory banks. Today I guess some of that would be called "bullying" behavior, but times were different back in the olden days. I learned to maintain a poker face, and coupled with the fact that I was moved all over creation as a cog in a Navy family, I knew I would be in a new classroom soon anyway. I was a kid; I always thought the next one would be better.

So, imagine my surprise, and delight, a few years ago when my eye exams began to show something odd: my eyesight was actually improving. I thought that the fact that I was having to blink a lot to read my book meant what it had always meant: my eyesight had slipped a bit more and I needed a stronger prescription. How thick can lenses get, anyway?

Not so, said my eye doctor. It turns out my prescription is headed down the number scale instead. What??!

Well, you know me: I had to research this phenomenon. But all I can find are articles about natural ways to work at improving your vision, foods that promote good eye health, exercises you can do with your eyes (I think I exercise quite enough already, don't need any more), but nothing about an unprompted improvement. The optometrist did tell me that it happens, though; I'm not weird or anything (OK, OK, stop the jokes). But it didn't occur to me to question her in more detail at the time, even though my vision has shown improvement for the past five or six years. Now I'm really curious, though, and will keep searching the Internet to learn more about it.

But, we don't have many chances after 60 to find some part of our bodies that haven't turned on us so completely that mirrors are forbidden in our homes. Especially anywhere near where we change clothes. 

But new frames with thinner lenses? Maybe some day I can go look up all those mean kids and flaunt the new look.

Every time I think that I'm getting old, and gradually going to the grave, something else happens.

Elvis Presley

Is that silly jester joking THIS time?

Apparently not.

He showed up in the patient holding area, where my friend lay in a silly hospital gown and an IV dripping into his arm. The pointy hat with all the tiny silver bells all a-jingle was missing when the jester arrived--maybe he left it in his Porsche--but it was certainly him standing at the foot of the bed, Dr. "Smith" stitched across his white lab coat.

At least he had the grace to look marginally sheepish. You know the expression that steals across someone's face that whispers, "I really messed up this time, but how can I get out of this without coming right out and admitting it"? You know...THAT look.

Do you remember the test that had to be administered before a final determination could be made about this life-extending procedure? The test that was done right there in the doctor's office in plenty of time prior so the procedure could be scheduled? Yes, that one......

The patient, in his medical-establishment naivete, assumed that when the hospital called to confirm that the procedure was, indeed, on the schedule that the doctor had in fact READ THE REPORT. And that the results indicted it was a "GO." Sounds logical, right? 

Perhaps in a sane world.

So, here he was, IV stuck in his arm, all ready to get it over with when the jester shook his tambourine in our faces. Again.

And told us that the patient was no longer a candidate for the procedure at all. Due to the successful tweaking of medication over the past few months, the function in that body system had improved to the point where the procedure was no longer indicated.

Good news, right!  Of course.

But why wasn't that pesky report read before the final go ahead from the hospital? Before the patient was subjected to the pre-op process, AND the costs associated with all of that?

Because we all know those charges will be showing up, both in the patient's mailbox as well as within the gargantuan Medicare system.

For me, aging to perfection means getting older with some dignity intact, learning from my mistakes, accepting some of the unfortunate side effects of the whole process.....

.....AND staying away from the jesters in white lab coast at all costs....literally and figuratively.

My doctor tells me I should start slowing it down - but there are more old drunks than there are old doctors so let's all have another round.

Willie Nelson