Back in port: Cruise control

I had never thought about it. Why would I?

How do over 3000 people on a cruise ship all get off at once? The logistics are astounding when you do stop to consider it.

Embarking at the other end of the cruise is a bit different. Not everyone arrives at the same time, all giddy to walk that gangway to start the fun. Your travel or cruise agent informs you that there is a window of time for boarding, several hours long, that travelers can use to plan their journey from home to port, so boarding is spread out over that time.

But getting off? That's a different proposition altogether. Crew members have to get rid of all of us--PLUS our collective luggage--in order to clean and restock that floating paradise for all those other passengers arriving. That same ship will pull out of port to do it all over again just a few short hours after we leave, a new group of over 3000 just starting their bit of heaven for a week or so.  How do they pull that off?

At the end of my first cruise, I felt highly inconvenienced the last night at sea when I got a message from my cabin steward--the one who waits on me hand and foot, remember?--directing me to pack up my luggage that night and have it out in the passageway by midnight. What?? What was I supposed to do without all my stuff from then until I got off this floating city? I learned that I could keep a small bag with me (whew!), but everything else needed to be collected by the crew the night before we even sailed into port.

When you stop and think about it, how else would they get it all gathered up and off the ship without starting early? Imagine how much luggage 3000 people can accumulate. I had two large suitcases myself for a 7 day cruise. (I know, I know, but there were TWO formal nights and that's two complete dressy outfits with different shoes and accessories, PLUS all those cute sundresses I got for the trip. Yes, they all had to come along, because you never know what shows you're going to want to see, and.....never mind. Every woman reading this understands what I mean.)

So, at midnight the night before you arrive back in port, the passageways are lined with every kind of suitcase you can imagine, waiting to be picked up. You sleep in undies (or nothing at all, because after all, you're still on vacation, and what happens on a cruise ship, stays on the ship, but we won't go there....) a small bag with toiletries, and the next morning it's time to rejoin reality as the ship majestically slides into port before dawn.

And then all those thousands of people have to get off with some planned exit strategy, another amazing feat of logistics. Each traveler is given a window of time and a location of the ship at which you gather with other bleary-eyed cruisers who don't want to go home yet, either, and you wait until your group is called. This has always gone well before--but not on this cruise, I must say. If you recall, the government's furloughs had begun and there was one--count him, the poor guy, ONE--customs agent waiting to chat amiably with all 3000 of us.

It took a while.

And remember all that luggage? All 6000+ pieces were waiting in one room to be claimed.

Welcome home!

Seven days worth....

Floating paradise!

In line for customs at the end of the cruise.....

One small area of luggage....good luck!

 

Cruise Control: Day 4

Cloud-watching is fine by me, but if you want to be entertained on a cruise, you don't have to wait long. Or ever.

Half of the activities for one day

Every evening, your cabin steward places the next day's schedule of activities in your room, probably because it will take you overnight to read it all. Much less decide what your plan for the day will be, between comedy shows, bingo, dance lessons, art auctions, movies, ice carving demonstrations, tours of the galley or laundry, musical theater shows to rival Las Vegas, magicians, lectures, bands. There is literally some form of entertainment scheduled every minute of every day, in dozens of venues around the ship.

And, the best part, it all runs on time.

Of course, there are places where nothing happens at all, if your reason for cruising is relaxation. That's where you will generally find me: next to a hot tub on a deck chair in the shade somewhere. A glass of champagne will be close by, with more available whenever I look around for one of those helpful young people who hover everywhere. And a book, of course, which I checked out from the ship's library. These "quiet zones" offer vistas of the ocean meandering by, its shade of blue changing from a brilliant azure close to shore to deep navy the farther we sail from shore. Not everyone wants to experience non-stop entertainment on vacation, especially those of us who are aging perfectly.

But rest assured, if it's on the ship's schedule, it will run on time, whatever it is. These people could educate a few businesses I know of back here on dry land.

Entertainment in the Piazza

Our favorite: Jazz

Zumba class in the Piazza

Dance demo

Tour of the galley

The blue card is your pass to....everything!

My personal favorite!

Is it legal to have this much fun??

Comedy show coming up!

"Fun is good."

Dr. Suess

Cruise Control: Day 3

A cruise ship is a luxury hotel on water, it's that simple. The opulence in the central gathering area--with a variety of names like The Atrium of The Piazza depending on the cruise line--is hard to believe when you contrast it with the price of the ticket. Soaring skylights, mosaic floors, floating staircases, and exquisite lighting everywhere can trick the traveler into believing they paid a lot of money to be there amid it all. The payoff for the cruise lines, of course, is that everyone wants to do it again, and as quickly as possible. (Just to make sure, though, you can reserve a future cruise for a mere $100 refundable deposit before you step a foot off the one you haven't finished yet. These people aren't stupid.)

The Piazza

The Piazza

The Piazza

Once you leave these areas, though, and head to your stateroom (which is a generous term for the kind of cabin most of us working folks can afford), be prepared to downsize quickly--including your basic turning-around radius. They have done the best they can, I must admit. Well-placed mirrors expanded the approximately 800 square feet of "living space" we were allotted in a regular sized cabin for two. The bathroom/changing area might add an additional 20 square feet, but I "paced off"

It WAS a king-size bed!

Desk, refrig, TV area

Main part of the cabin

Dressing area

Shower

Sink in bathroom

(without moving any part of my  body other than my toe) about 2.5 feet by 3.5 feet in the toilet/sink area, and another 3.5 feet by 4.5 feet in the shower. Suffice it to say, plan on exiting the shower stall completely if you drop the soap. There is no bending over room for retrieval.

But when you consider that you spend very little time in your cabin, the small size is not too great a burden to carry in exchange for being in this beautiful space to begin with. Coupled with the service and the great entertainment that is offered practically around the clock, you simply fall into bed at night, and rush out in the morning to eat, drink, and be merry.

Of course, you can pay more for a bigger space, right on up to a family suite with a balcony. (I imagine if you reserve that one you might need that balcony to toss off annoying family members after a few days at sea. At least, that's the nasty rumor I heard.) So far, however, I have been in an outside cabin (which means you have a window looking out at the ocean) with single beds when I traveled with two family members, an outside cabin with one huge bed taking up the majority of the square footage, and most recently, an inside cabin with no window at all.

And I learned a valuable lesson in this inside cabin. Well, actually two lessons: One, it won't ever happen again. The "no window" aspect, I mean. I WILL cruise again, I can assure you of that. And two, I won't get stuck without a window again because I was disoriented all the time without it. When I woke up in the morning, I never really knew if it WAS morning. It could have been midnight for all I knew, I had no way of knowing. In an ocean view room I could look outside and tell. Without it, I was simply at a loss about what time it might be. So, in the future, we will pay a bit more (less than $100 usually) for a room with a view, as water logged as that view might been.

Have I mentioned how large these ships are? Stay tuned.....

Luxury must be comfortable, otherwise it is not luxury.

Coco Chanel

Room service, please!

The experience didn't quite match my expectations.

There is much in life like that, isn't there? I remember the first (and last) time I rode a ferris wheel. Never mind that I was in my 30s. Leaving the ground seems like such a foolish thing for people to do. I finally got up the nerve and climbed into that basket that insisted on rocking wildly no matter how still I sat, and then I was facing a lot of empty sky as the wheel turned and carried me upward. It was even worse when I was going backwards. At least I did it once.

Early this month I took a cruise to the Bahamas. I used to live in the Islands so that part wasn't new at all. Being on a cruise ship, though....all of that is relatively new to me. And this time I did "my thing I've never done before" by ordering room service for breakfast one morning.

I've never had enough money to do  things like that, so just the idea was extravagent to me. Have someone bring my meal to me in my room, and I can stay in my pink fluffy robe to eat breakfast? Unthinkable. But on a cruise, your food is included in the price of your ticket. As much of it as you want. Whenever or wherever you want it. Heaven.

So, we put the hanging order form on the door knob before going to bed the night before. We even specified what time we wanted it delivered in the morning. And, sure enough, a knock on the cabin door woke us, along with hot coffee and a plate of eggs and bacon. And pancakes. Plus orange juice and fresh fruit. There may even have been a bowl of cereal with milk. Don't you love it?

I took the food-laden tray from the perky young woman who delivered it, turned around, and stopped. There was no place to put it except on the bed. These cabins are tight. Doors open and one of us has to flatten against the wall. Forget getting any privacy while you're in the bathroom. There must be about 50 square feet in the entire space you get along with all the food you want. Of course, you don't spend a lot of time in your cabin on a cruise, but even still, I needed a place to lay that tray down before I dropped the whole thing on the floor.

The only flat surface available was the bed. Have you ever eaten a whole meal in bed before? Two people trying desperately not to tip the edges of the cups and bowls far enough to slosh all over the sheets, the ones we needed to sleep in later that night. Not the experience I had envisioned, that's for sure. 

There is a first time for everything, and I'm having fun seeking new adventures out each month. Aging to perfection means being willing to step outside my personal comfort zone, stretching that zone far beyond what I thought was even possible for me.

Some I have repeated. Some have become part of my life.

Room service won't be one of them.

Room service? Send up a larger room.

Groucho Marx