Wednesday, May 25, 2011

How did you DO that??

"How did you know you could do that?" 

The question hung in the air for a beat before I could answer it. How DID I know I could cut down a tree with a chain saw 10 years ago when that ugly tree was dying over my roof?

How did  I know how to replace the seal under my toilet when I finally figured out where that damn leak was coming from?

How did I get that 6 foot glass top to my new dining set out of the equally big box by myself?

What possessed me to start my own company with nothing but a business license and a lot of disparate information rattling around in my head?

For people like me, I guess the answer is: I didn't know that I could do it. All I did know was that those things needed to be done, and I was the only person on site to take action.

I was a single parent, working two jobs, with a very active daughter to raise. Money was tight, to say the least, but I also have a wide independent streak and believe that there isn't much I CAN'T do. We could delve into a psychological study of women like me who have some control and trust issues and an A type personality, but that would bore everyone to death, wouldn't it?

So, what did I do this month for the "thing I've never done before," my year-long journey of rejuvination that has turned out to be so much fun?

I tiled the back splash in my kitchen. About a year ago I pulled off the fiber board that has been fulfilling that purpose for over 20 years, and I just hadn't found anyone to put up some pretty white tile yet. I had the tile, the grout, the was all sitting there on my porch taunting me. "DO ME, DO ME!" it said every time I walked by. 

My mother didn't think I could do it. You know how mothers can convey messages without uttering a word? It's all in the body language, and hers was shouting loud and clear: YOU DON'T KNOW HOW TO DO THAT!! YOU'VE NEVER DONE IT BEFORE! YOU'LL RUIN IT!!"  Some friends said they would do it, but everybody is busy with their own stuff and it just never got done.

So, when my mother left for an overnight trip, I cleared off the kitchen counters and I tiled and grouted and caulked the night (and half the next day) away. Yes, it was hard, especially the caulking for some reason, but I just tackled the job.  Because it needed to be done.

Maybe that's not on par with my past months of new experiences.....hookah bars and driving Zs and taking a dance lesson......but it WAS new to me, something I've never attempted before.

And nobody had to tell me I could do it.

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