Monday, August 26, 2013

Magic Erasers.....then again, maybe not.

Just my luck it would end up stuck in my cheek instead of my upper lip.

I looked into it, I'll admit it. There had to be a way to get rid of the tiny vertical lines that appeared, seemingly over night, around my mouth. It looks like I'm a Raggedy Ann doll with the stitches on the outside of the fabric instead of hidden away where they belong.

But I thought the remedy would be like those Magic Erasers sold in stores that ARE magic at getting marks and other annoyances to disappear. Seemed logical to me. The answer, though, was strange and kind of creepy, if you ask me.

It seems that they inject some kind of substance around the mouth that serves as a way of filling up that thin, collagen-thirsty skin. You've seen the results, I know you have. You probably just didn't know why that woman at the grocery store had an upper lip that transformed her into Daffy the Duck.

The skin around her mouth IS smooth as a baby's bottom, that's for sure. But her lips are twice as big as they should be, thus her sudden kinship with Daffy and his family. Sometimes it's just the upper lip, which is even odder in some twisted way.

Celebrities do this all the time, and they keep it up until we don't even recognize who we're looking at anymore. But celebrities actually live on another planet, and we expect them to trade in the bizarre; it's another thing completely, though, when your friendly librarian or hairdresser or workout partner shows up with balloon lips. Are we supposed to say something or is that verboten? What's the etiquette here?

I think this is an area that can be instructional to teenagers, in that it simply proves that humans of any age are  prone to the "It can't happen to me!" syndrome. Some of Daffy's new relatives have witnessed friends and strangers submit to these injections, with sad and crazy results.....yet they still think it won't be their experience when they decide to lay out the big bucks to do the same thing. Somehow they will be immune to the incipient disasters awaiting.

The substance that is injected under the skin to stretch out those horried lines is a plastic that is pliable, too. I'm sorry, but that is just creepy.

Because you know what would happen to ME? During the night I would turn my head the wrong way on the pillow and that plastic would end up under my eye. And my mouth would still looked like a bad seamstress had attacked me.

“It's paradoxical that the idea of living a long life appeals to everyone, but the idea of getting old doesn't appeal to anyone.”
Andy Rooney

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