Sunday, July 24, 2011

Don't laugh at...or lie to...a lover

As I've told you before, relationships haven't been my strong suit over the years. I'll be the first to admit that. However, that doesn't mean I haven't learned a lot from them. Relationships, I mean. I guess that's one thing about getting older. Our experiences become cumulative and have more depth over time.

Some of those lessons learned were easily acquired. Like, it's not a good idea for the health of a relationship to laugh at someone who is trying to explain how they feel. If you make that mistake more than once, peace be with you, because you're going to have a rough road keeping your bed warm on a cold night.

Or that lies have a way of rebounding, kind of like a billiard ball that doesn't drop where you thought it was going. It just keeps bouncing around, hitting things. Usually you.

I've made small mistakes, as well as some huge ones. Some have cost me dearly. But the most interesting, and I believe most valuable, lessons have shown me what I am capable of as an individual. For example, only recently have I been able to write about the most devastating relationship I ever had. It's a sad, strange story, believe me. One that no novelist could ever make up. I had to see a therapist for a short time to process exactly what had happened. And the therapist handed me a gift when I was ready to head out on my own again.

That gift? "No matter how painful this experience was for you, at least now you know the passion you're capable of."  Needless to say, I didn't look at the situation that way for a long time. I was too busy tending to my shredded soul. For years.

Relationships can be excruciating. They can bring immense joy. Often both. At the same time. 

Sometimes they last. Other times they simply don't. People hurt one another and get hurt in return. But I believe there are always lessons there somewhere. And the older we get, the more we're open to the instruction that results. 

And time truly does heal. I have the scars to prove it.

Some people come into our lives and quickly go.  Some stay for a while, leave footprints on our hearts, and we are never, ever the same.  ~Flavia Weedn, Forever, ©

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